So, you’ve got your birth plan, but what if the plan doesn’t go to plan?
Birth Planning
Naturally, birth planning seems to upload a negative feeling. I’m sure you won't be alone in some of these feels!
‘what’s the point? – birth never goes to plan?’
‘I’m just going to go with the flow and hope for the best’
‘Birth is hard and unpredictable’
But, hear this, what if it does go to plan? What if you educate yourself on the benefits and risks and take control of your decisions surrounding birth? What if there is something that is REALLY important to you. For example, that you wish to be heard by your medical team.
A friend once told me that she felt like she wasn’t heard of at first birth. She specially asked medical professionals several times, and felt like she wasn’t listened to too. Very simply at the top of her next birth plan. ‘Please listen to my wishes, and allow me to make my own decisions”
This is really important to her. This enables her to have control, this enables her to make those decisions at birth that may seem down to just the white coat professional, but you always have a choice. It's ultimately your body, your birth and your wishes.
The other food for thought is writing preferences. If plan A doesn’t go as you wish you can plan for considerations.
Things to consider for either method;
Managing the intensity of birth, what things are going to provide you comfort? List your preferences
Environment, how do you wish it to look and feel?
Staff, medical students, is this something you wish to consider or not?
What is important to you? For example hushed voices.
Are there some ‘NO GO’s’ – things that you don’t want to happen, (I want to be in UFO position for birth)
Birth Partners role, what is it that they are doing?
Post birth care, it doesn't stop at birth so how do you wish for this to unfold?
Benefits of a birth plan:
You feel empowered by your choices, your showing the powerful knowledge right there on a page
Your birth partner can pass the birth plan to any change in staff - we want to have that clear communication between all members of a team looking after you
You can enable that TEAMWORK, - you are all on the same page!
Your plan might not be set in stone, but can be flexible and can hold preferences. - It helps you prepare for the unexpected!
As part of your NHS maternity booklet you can easily complete their checklist, however this does not have to be it. You can add your own plan to the folder. If your still doubting whether to do a birth plan or not, One of the things I always talk about with my clients is our birth affirmations.
‘Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t!’
With our birth plan, we have clearly focused on the things we can control and this allows us to focus on what we can’t.
Going past 40 weeks, heres what happened next…
What did I do post 40 weeks pregnant with my second baby?
Going past ‘40 weeks’ is a little bit like waiting for a bus in Thailand, they arrive on their own time, they NEVER stick to the schedule and they certainly weren't easy to wait for. (uncomfortable, horrid and long wait)
If you have travelled to Thailand, and you have waited for one of those buses, then you know what I mean!
So at 40 weeks with my 2nd pregnancy and I was mostly feeling calm, hypnobirthing sessions were completed so I was feeling happy and ready for the big day. I hopped, skipped and jumped down to my appointment at the hospital thinking ‘I’m nearly there’ (Yeahhh baby)
Only to be told ‘You're measuring too small’, I was 6 weeks behind the tape measure. This had been a very common theme in both of my pregnancies, I was always ‘behind’. I was always having growth scans, and talking with my friends and family this seemed like very common practice. Something that didn’ really shock me.
I was sent for a scan at 40 weeks, ushered out with a brown envelope up the day assessment unit. The sonographer didn't say much apart from, ‘go upstairs’ she did however say, ‘I don't normally scan at 40 weeks, I couldn't really measure the baby, it's all too big at this point’ My gut feels were *I know this baby is growing (I can feel it, see it and she is moving just perfectly)
Two hours later, I was ushered into a room. "We're inducing you now,"
SORRY?! YOU WHAT?
(I wanted to shout this, but these were thoughts in my head) I said to the lady in the day assessment unit, sorry I don’t think I will be. Tears started to fill in my eyes. (Don’t take my birth away from me, the one I knew was so close to happening)
I must admit now on reflection I did not react in the best way possible. I was fully equipped with my knowledge from all my Hypnobirthing sessions, BUT could have dealt with it in a calmer way? Yes. They are only doing their job, and making sure all is ok.
I declined an induction and asked for an alternative way of checking if the baby was all ok. This is the conclusion I made based on the information I looked at.
My gut instinct was strong
The unreliable stats surrounding measurements and scans were dominant in my findings, looking at ALL the evidence
Blood flow to placenta was great
Babies heart rate was good
Lots of movement from baby
Risk was still very LOW in comparison to induction of labour
I read Dr sara wickham's evidence, Evidence based birth, AIMS and NICE guidelines to make my informed choices backed up my thoughts. You can check yourself any evidence, here;
https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng207
https://www.aims.org.uk
https://www.sarawickham.com
My alternative choice from the consultation was,
Attend day assessment unit; and wait for baby
Consider a sweep (still a form of induction)
Talk again at 41 weeks
I had another conversation with another consultation at 40 +3 days who again tried to ask me to take an induction, and I declined again. (I was much calmer by this point)
I really did feel pressure, I have one week to get this baby OUT OUT OUT! Suddenly I felt the pressure from the external noise, hospital, my body doing its job and for me, I just really didn’t want an induction. (for my own personal reasons, and absolutely this is not an anti-induction blog, I just didn’t want one)
Knowing what I know now, stress is not one to have holding over you, especially if you're about to go into labour. It’s something we want to avoid at all costs.
So this is what I did next…
I went back to all my Hypnobirthing magic. I revisited all the knowledge I had. I worked hard on trying to make sure that the decisions I was making were the right ones, any doubts to be pushed aside. I practised calm breathing and watched videos on why the ‘overdue’ dates were so dated in their evidence.
I decided I couldn't mope around thinking about ‘when is this baby going to come’ - so I walked. I walked like a mad pregnant lady. I think I stomped around Richmond, hoping that this movement would jig her into labour.
I got some reflexology, which was absolutely amazing. It made me feel so happy, calm and well rested. (a bit like listening to the self hypnosis tracks does to you, that sleepy feeling you have just before you fall asleep)
I also went to have some acupuncture, which again felt very relaxing. The needles were placed in specific parts of my body, to increase blood flow, and again give that feeling of being totally sleepy, at ease and trusting my body.
I really think being past the 40 weeks with the pressure of hospital can feel like a twisted mind spell, but if you can dig deep with your Hypnobirthing tools and stay proactive things still have ‘time’ to happen.
Removing that external stress will help remove adrenaline (the bad guy) and hopefully replacing it with oxytocin hormone (the good one!) can really help support you in this time. If this is you right now, please don’t fear it alone. Feel free to drop me a message, or come to some pregnancy relaxation (wish I’d had this!) to take your mind away from any fears you have.
Remember - Its your bump, and you're near the beginning! (P.S heres me 40 & 5 days pregnant - about to go on my Richmond stomp!)
Kirsten xx
Is Hypnobirthing worth it?
Is Hypnobirthing worth it?
Well in a nutshell, YES! The lead up to giving birth can feel like an endless to do list. Is the nursery ready? Do I have enough nappies? I wander what the baby should be wearing when it arrives home? What will they look like? Imagine all those things are on the list and very exciting things to do, an absolutely joy.
However, If told you the investment of a Hypnobirthing course meant you felt
Calmer
Excited about your birth
Prepared mentally
Let’s break it down.
We would not compete a marathon without practising running first? A runner would go on short runs, gradually building up, making sure that their body was ready for the task ahead.
If they were a professional, they would be planning for all eventualities too. Working with specialists such as a sports psychologist. A marathon runner would not go into an event without the support of their family & friends, 100% behind them with all positive affirmations shouting like ‘you can do it!’, and they certainly would be thinking that it was all going to go wrong, and visualise themselves falling over?
This is not be asking you to practise giving birth by any means, but mentally preparing for it and practicing your breathing, all the tools to enable you to feel fearless is going to be priceless.
Some other advantages could be less fear, lower pain levels, deeper relaxation, making more rational decisions. You will start to feel connected to you body, less stress hormones and new studies suggest less likely to have post-natal depression.
So although we want to have the perfect nursery, the perfect name, the buggy and all the tiny adorable clothes. If you have the birth you wanted and were empowered by your decisions, some of those other investments might not seem as worthy when you are holding your baby after a really beautiful birth.